The Second Time Around

2011-10-09T14:08:00.000-07:00

The first time Big Cecil came calling, he caught me in the shower, naked and soaking wet. This time...this time, I'm not even sure it's him. But if he has indeed come back, I have much better formed views of how I want to handle life the second time around.

For starters, the people I talk to. A close friend at work. My boss. The HR Director. My kids. The close circle of girlfriends who helped me through the first time plus a few who have joined the circle since then.

For another thing, what I want or don't want. Mostly I know that I don't want to get a lot of Stuff. That's a natural tendency when somebody you care about gets sick. I do it, too.

And of course, what to write about this new experience.

The three-month followup visit is tomorrow: blood draw followed by visit with the oncologist. I'm terrified but looking forward to getting it over with. The suspense has gone on long enough.

Tomorrow I hope for something definite: either it 's a simple anomaly caused by other things or there really is something to Be Concerned About. But it may be inconclusive. I can easily imagine a visit in which the doc says that the tumor markers are still elevated but not enough to warrant running around doing stuff yet, so come back in another three months.

Again?

2011-10-09T14:04:00.000-07:00

In early July, I went in for an annual visit with the oncologist. She came in and sat down and did not look at me. Your lab work shows a bump in tumor markers, she said. It may not mean anything. Rather than ordering a bunch of tests right now, I'd like to see you again in three months.

Okay, I said.

She did the usual thorough check--absolutely nothing is too small or too irrelevant for this doc to ask questions about. After 5+ years of seeing her, I trust her a lot.

I hope this isn't too stressful for you, she said on her way out the door.

I can talk to my friends, I said.

Good, she said.

Dancing with Big Cecil and Everybody Else

The Second Time Around

Again?